( What else is left but this soft admission of defeat? He feels too fragile to live, but too prideful to die. He's at odds with need and necessity. There is no world where - Gwawlyn or Balthazar return, again.
And yet. )
... Have people tried to tell you to live on, anyway, too?
[ Because Angelo is unpleasant and curt and angry, someone difficult to get along with. He hasn't made close ties in his time here by virtue of just who he is, the perfect opposite of Hwylryn who likely could not have helped forming some amount of bonds. ]
It's all platitudes anyway. The 'good' thing to say to make yourself feel better.
( He makes an ambiguous sound, neither in agreement or disagreement. He doesn't think Angelo is wrong, but he doesn't think the words people are are innately insincere.
As a selfish creature himself, he understands that sometimes to give to another and to act on your own behalf can sometimes take the same form. )
... Well, who knows how we'll be returned back, after this.
( Assuming they are. But he thinks he's starting to take Ish's word for it. )
The postponement frustrates me, and all the pride I'd worked up to die with... And I haven't come away with any better conclusion than to die in his name, once I go back. It seems to be my fate, regardless.
( He's never been very good at using his time to come up with answers. He's had thousands of years since Gwawlyn's death, and he still didn't know if killing Snow and White over it was really right. )
... I don't know if Balthazar or Gwawlyn spared a thought for me when they passed. I don't know if they particularly wanted me to live on, or not. ( Selfishly, he hopes they did. ) But, I hope... your Captain did, on both counts. And I hope you can take that with you when you return. And I hope your choice, in the end, is your own.
( Even if Angelo's conclusion is one that leads him to decide, once again, on death— at least he will have this.
To Hwylryn, suicide is an innately selfish act. Even if Balthazar or Gwawlyn had wanted him to live, he would still have chosen to pass on, if with more guilt in his heart. Because escaping this pain is for him. And so - he believes Angelo should be allowed to be selfish. Even if Hwylryn wishes he might find some way to live on; even if, perhaps, his Captain wished more for him, too.
More than his own desire, he desires for Angelo to have his own choice. That's all. )
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( What else is left but this soft admission of defeat? He feels too fragile to live, but too prideful to die. He's at odds with need and necessity. There is no world where - Gwawlyn or Balthazar return, again.
And yet. )
... Have people tried to tell you to live on, anyway, too?
no subject
[ Because Angelo is unpleasant and curt and angry, someone difficult to get along with. He hasn't made close ties in his time here by virtue of just who he is, the perfect opposite of Hwylryn who likely could not have helped forming some amount of bonds. ]
It's all platitudes anyway. The 'good' thing to say to make yourself feel better.
no subject
As a selfish creature himself, he understands that sometimes to give to another and to act on your own behalf can sometimes take the same form. )
... Well, who knows how we'll be returned back, after this.
( Assuming they are. But he thinks he's starting to take Ish's word for it. )
The postponement frustrates me, and all the pride I'd worked up to die with... And I haven't come away with any better conclusion than to die in his name, once I go back. It seems to be my fate, regardless.
( He's never been very good at using his time to come up with answers. He's had thousands of years since Gwawlyn's death, and he still didn't know if killing Snow and White over it was really right. )
... I don't know if Balthazar or Gwawlyn spared a thought for me when they passed. I don't know if they particularly wanted me to live on, or not. ( Selfishly, he hopes they did. ) But, I hope... your Captain did, on both counts. And I hope you can take that with you when you return. And I hope your choice, in the end, is your own.
( Even if Angelo's conclusion is one that leads him to decide, once again, on death— at least he will have this.
To Hwylryn, suicide is an innately selfish act. Even if Balthazar or Gwawlyn had wanted him to live, he would still have chosen to pass on, if with more guilt in his heart. Because escaping this pain is for him. And so - he believes Angelo should be allowed to be selfish. Even if Hwylryn wishes he might find some way to live on; even if, perhaps, his Captain wished more for him, too.
More than his own desire, he desires for Angelo to have his own choice. That's all. )